Side Note

I couldn't sleep last night. I tossed and turned all night. Call it "back-to-work blues" or whatever but I was kind of in a funk. Some of it was stupid, personal stuff that was of my own doing but another part was weird. There was a phrase that kept running through my head:

We are the lucky ones.

The "we" being me and the Hubs. We are so lucky. Maybe lucky isn't the word, but fortunate. We do create a lot of our "luck" by actively seeking out new opportunities and keeping ourselves healthy. But these things just kept running through my head.

We both have jobs.

We live in a beautiful home.

We have extremely generous families (both through gifts and their time).

We have supportive friends.

We have food in the house.

We have the luxury to do fun things.

We have a comfy bed and the ability to use our heater.

We have the time to do the things we love.

Of course I didn't want to go back to work this week. I was dreading checking my email (which wasn't bad at all). I don't want to sit in an office on my computer while the Hubs gets one more week off work. I want to lounge around, play with my new toys, go to the movies and just chill. But then I start thinking about those people who are praying for a job. That all-consuming prayer when you don't have one and would take anything that came your way. Or those with a spouse out of work, who get up every morning and beat themselves up because they can't provide for their family.

I know the feeling, we've been there. Last year at this time, we were miserable. How amazing it feels to be at the top of the emotional spectrum instead of the bottom. There are so many opportunities available to us now. Back when I talked about Blooming Where We Are Planted, we took it to heart and things really turned around. We opened ourselves to new things and took on new challenges that have changed us for the better.

So, we are the lucky ones. We are the fortunate ones. We aren't sleeping out in the cold tonight. We have food. We have our health. We have each other.

Oh Where Oh Where?

I haven't seen my husband in about two weeks. We live in the same house, mind you, and he's not traveling and neither am I. We've both been so busy, we're just ships passing in the night.

I see him in the morning, where I jump into the shower first since he is a 20-minute-long-showerer. Yikes. I can't even be in a shower for more than 5 minutes. I'm always thinking of what else I need to be doing.

As I'm drying my hair, he is downstairs making his lunch and while I'm putting on my make up, he's brushing his teeth. A quick kiss and he's gone.

Off to work I go from 9-6pm where at that point I rush straight to rehearsal, running across the street from the theater to the Baker's. Baker's made bank off of all of us this week, btw. Man, I love those fries.

Rehearsal/show... show nights are great because we're out of there by 9:30pm. Rehearsals were more like 10:30. Run home, shower, say a few words then hop into bed and rest up for the next day.

Lather, rinse, repeat for 14 days. Tonight is no exception. I'm off to a cast party straight after work. He's got stuff tomorrow evening, I've got a salad to make.

We're a little like that this weekend too. He has a gig, I have church stuff and bridesmaid responsibilities.

But we're ok. We're both doing things we love (I think me more so in this case, as I'm performing and he's just rehearsing). But it makes me think how lucky that we "get" what each other does. He doesn't get annoyed that he hasn't seen me in two weeks, that our kitchen is bare because we don't have time to shop, that the house looks like we just let twenty 4-year-olds loose in it.

We're both musicians and we appreciate it when the other one understands our "thing". My "thing" is musicals, his "thing" is horn gigs. Or Civil War bands, or whatever floats our boat. I come home happier than anything else when I've been to a good rehearsal.

How lucky am I that he says "go on, have fun!" when I'm off to rehearsal right after work? That he comes to my shows and tells me (honestly) how he liked it. If he wanted me to come to one of his concerts, I would. We get that this is us, this is what we love to do and we support each other in our extracurricular activities.

What could be better than that?

Thankful Thursday: Doing Something I Love

For this Thankful Thursday, I'm thankful for a person. A certain person:

Do you have just one thing in life you ADORE doing? Like something so challenging and difficult but still fun enough that if you were going for hours and hours, you could keep going and get past the pain?

I love dancing. Absolutely love it. But it has to be the right teacher/choreographer/drill sergeant or else I can't stand it. Or if it's not challenging enough. If I don't go home completely wiped out, I feel like it's a waste of time.

I've worked with many choreographers in many shows and only a few really make each person feel like they are dancers. Like, they appreciate we love to dance and though we may not be able to do everything, they don't dumb it down for us.

I'm in one of those shows right now. I've worked with this choreographer before and would be in any show that he was involved with. He's hard working, expects a lot, patient and really funny. He pushes us and is so creative with his ideas.

From 7-10 last night, we hardly took a break. But none of us cared. We just wanted to keep rehearsing over and over again until we got it right. I'm so proud of myself because a couple of years ago, I would have been moaning and groaning about how sore I was from doing all that but I think the working out has helped a lot. I do have bruises on my hands (don't ask) and on my knees (REALLY don't ask) but they are so worth it. I came home last night and plopped on the floor like I did 4 years ago when I was in Beauty and the Beast. But I had a huge smile on my face. I was SO happy to be doing this again.

Anyone who comes to see this show next month is going to be wowwed. Not necessarily by us but by how creatively we're telling the story. I am so proud to be putting this on stage and offering it to the community. And to have a strong leader getting us there? That's priceless.

I'm also thankful that my body can do these things. That I have the ability and coordination to dance and just let it all go.

While I'm thankful for many things this week (good job situation, lovely husband, good friends, exercise and food!), this is what is making me shine right now.

What are you thankful for right now?

Where I Throw it All Out There

So I've been seriously slacking on this here blog but it's good! It means I'm busy and happy and just plugging along. So this post is going to be one of those "stream of consciousness" (totally had to spellcheck that, btw) posts.

1. Work is going great! I'm really liking my job, I'm picking it up sort of quickly and feel like I'm making a difference already. I appreciate my boss and her guidance and that's good because I'm going to be spending a lot of time with her the next week.

2. I'm going to be working a lot of nights pretty soon but that's ok because it means my weekends are always open. What a luxury that is!

3. Well, except for Sundays when we have the church choir gig going on. We had our first rehearsal last Sunday and I was a little disappointed in myself because I don't feel like we had a grasp on the situation. But it just means we get to try again this Sunday. We've never done this before and it sort of showed but we worked on stuff tonight and I know next week will be better. No one said we would know it all in a week!

4. The house is all decorated for fall and I love it. The weather dropped 50 degrees in a week. Nope, not a typo. Last Monday it was 117 here and it was about 65 degrees here today. What the hoo-ha hell is going on around here? I'm totally not complaining because I love this weather and wish it to stay (sorry weather! Don't be mad and run away!). I can't tell you how awesome it was to turn on our oven tonight and then actually stand next to it for more than a minute before running away.

5. We have a lot to look forward to in the upcoming months. I got into "Scrooge" at the local theater and can't wait to work with my friends again. The children's church choir. Work. Halloween parties. Christmas parties. Oh! My mother-in-law is coming for Thanksgiving which is going to be really fun. So yeah, lots of stuff to get excited about.

6. Pumpkins pumpkins pumpkins. I love them. In all forms.

7. I got to second shoot an absolutely gorgeous wedding with my friend Lyndsay this weekend. How much fun was that? SO much. And because I don't like posts where there aren't any pictures, here's one of my favorite shots of the night, straight out of the camera:



Gorgeous couple, gorgeous night.

8. Something I have refrained from telling a lot of people is that I started training for a half marathon! My dad and I are going to run the San Diego Rock-n-Roll Half Marathon next June. I'm so excited and I'm really excited we're going to do it together. I'm starting out so slow, a 5k next month, a 10k in April and the half in June. I'm trying to look for other races in the area that line up with my schedule which is a little tricky since we have to be at church every Sunday.

What about you? What great exciting things have been happening for you?

Thankful

So, a couple of nights ago, I was wired. Like, dancing-in-my-friend's-kitchen wired. Grabbing-my-husband-and-jumping-all-around-him wired. Everything was funnier, happier, tastier, brighter. I couldn't believe how happy I was. I hadn't been that happy since my wedding day, which was over a year ago. And that's just sad. How can someone's life be so miserable that they don't even feel happy?

Before, when my husband would make jokes, I'd go through the motion of laughing. When hanging out with friends, I would put on the happy face, but inside be dreading the next day. But now, I have weekends to look forward to, instead of with dread. I have nights with my husband that are free of anxiety. NO ONE should have to go through this just for a job. No. one.

Like I said in a previous post, I tried to change the way I thought about things but when I couldn't, I knew I had to leave. It was trickling into everyday life. Actually, it wasn't trickling... it was flooding. You want to know the turning point? I had a student write me an email and in it, he talked to me like he was my boss. A student. A student told me what I needed to do and how I should do my job. Ohhhhhh no. Nuh uh. I was done. From that moment on, I made it my life's mission to get out of there. I wasn't going to be talked to like that by a student.

And now here I am. The new job is going to be hard, yes... but that's ok. I'm not afraid of hard work, I'm afraid of being made out to be a failure for trying my hardest. And that's not going to happen here.

I'm happy. I'm whole. I'm here.

Thankful Thursday- 9.2.10

-I'm thankful that it's September. I love when September rolls around and the students come back to campus. It gives the university such a different vibe and reminds us they're the reason we're all here.

-I'm thankful for baseball games with friends. We went to the Quakes game last night and I don't think I really paid attention but it was fun to talk, dance and sing with all of them.

-I'm thankful for new shoes. yum. New shoes.

-I'm thankful that people are interested in having me photograph their families. ME! Crazy!

-I'm thankful that I've chilled out lately. Things that would normally tick me off have sent me off laughing instead. Whew.

-Thankful for Ohana frozen yogurt. oooooo, let's go tonight!!

-As always.... this guy. Ugh... you guys don't even know!


What are you thankful for?

Thankful Thursday... a Day Late

Over at Heir to Blair, she does a little something called "Thankful Thursday". Although I'm a day late, what's a better day than Friday to say you're thankful?
Here's what I'm thankful for this week.

-It's FRIDAY! Although I do have to work tomorrow, it's not like it's a hard day on the job. It's an off-site event, which does stress me out, but it seems like it'll be a chill one.

-Last night I took about 2 hours and really learned how to use my camera. I learned about shutter speeds, ISO, metering, etc. Wow, there was so much I didn't know and really enjoyed figuring it out for myself (with the help of a few books and the trusty internet, of course).

-Jasmine Star's online, 5-day workshop on wedding photography. Look, I doubt I'm ever going to be a wedding photographer but if watching these online workshops help my everyday photography, I'm all for it! The whole thing is just incredible and you can check it out here.

-Only one more week in this job. HALLELUIA! I'm so frakin' excited to be moving to another division, I can hardly stand it. I don't want to make a big deal out of it at work but I'm so stoked. I hope the Hubs and I can celebrate with dinner out next Friday.

-My coworker has a tomato plant that has been going crazy lately and just about everyday I get a baggie with about 15 cherry tomatoes. SO good. I just cut them open, put a little salt on them and mmmmm. They don't even make it home.

-The projected forecast for today is only 95 degrees. That's 10 degrees less than yesterday. And this weekend will be in the 80's! YES!

-Thankful for the Hubs. Seriously, you guys... he's the best. And now that I'm becoming a happier person, he's becoming a goofier one. I absolutely love it and we have a lot of fun.

What are you thankful for?